POETRY JOURNAL

Dreams 1994
Floating in dreamland
Time moves fast
Donít want to wake up
Need it to last
Fell in a nightmare
Time standing still
Canít seem to escape
Somehow will
When the White Horse comes
The dragon slayed
Dreams become real
Nightmare will fade
Pinched by fate
Showing the way
When the dream
Will be of a better day
Complete with warm sun
Water of blue
Strong loving arms
Will all become true

~~THE FLOWER~~
1994
Like a flower
Caught in a windstorm
Struggling to survive
My petals are blowing away
Grasping onto ground
My stem feeling weak
From the forceful wind
Trying to blow me astray
Chances for survival
Some say are long gone
Standing tall as I can
Still feeling strong
The wind dying down to a gentle calm breeze
Rocking me softly
To a happier song

~~Did You~~
1994
Did you know that I waited for you
In the dim moonlight with a breath of light
In the still of the night
Did you see that I searched for you
Although unaware
That you would even be there
Or even bother to care
Did you hear when I called your name
Though not uttering a sound
My voice not to be found
Perhaps spellbound
Did you catch the essence of raindrops
As they fell from the sky
Did you wonder why
You could still hear me cry
Did you wait though I left you behind
For the time to be right
When weíd both see the light
Of the love that we fight

~~SOULMATE~~
1994
As lay in your arms
Though I know you not
I felt a quickening of my soul
As I looked in your eyes
I saw truth and light
That made me feel so complete and whole
I knew you were mine
With the very first touch
Such a long awaited meeting of fate
Though I canít tell you so You must feel it yourself
And open the door to the gate
Use the key to my heart
Thatís within your spirit
I know that you sense that itís there
Believe in my eyes
Cast away lies
So our love we can finally share..

~~YOU~~
Written 11-94
I caught but a glimpse of your face
In my most loving dreams
I heard the whisper of your voice
So close though it seems
The fact that it was just an illusion
Made me shed a tear
The worst is not ever seeing you
Is what I most fear
If only when I wished on a star
Iíd know where you are
Then suddenly when I look in my heart
I know youíre not far
For me Iíll be yours forever
Though you may never know
Until I see you again
My love only grows
~~BECOMING~~
12-1994
Lost in a deep mystical trance
Wondering, wandering , who leads the dance
Of the oh so forgotten who am I now
I think that I lost me , somewhere somehow
On a circular pathway going here and there
Going round and around say why do I care?
If the worlds round or flat
If I win or I loser
Or what of the people making the new
Hey stop and stare I saw me today
Iím that girl over there who lost her way
No wait Iím that man in the broken down truck
Cussing and screaming because he ran out of luck
That girl, sheís me too, jumping for joy
She just got to kiss her very first boy
You saw me today not trying to be crude
But my family is starving and I will work for food
Maybe Iím that tree standing tall and proud
Or that bird trying to fly through a big rain cloud
That blad of grass that got cut too short
Or the thorny rose bushes fenced in a court
That beautiful sunset saying good-night
Or the early sunrise bringing new light
Life is too short to be only me
So I think Iíll become everything that I see..

~~~~NEXT DOOR TO NIRVANA~~
12-1994
Entranced by a vision so clear in my mind
Of a place where Iíve been but since long forgotten
Perhaps itís a dream, the players seem real
As they speak in my language
Drifting, drifting, Iím drifting away
The reality of being so clearly in focus
Of what is existent Illusion does fade
Into deeper dimensions
Realms in the distance
Glimpsing mirror images
Carried, carried, Iím carried away
Eyes that arenít open can clearly interpret
The path that was chosen , though not quite so simple
As time has no meaning and space is entrapment
No turning back now
Floating, floating, Iím floating away
Light glowing brighter sounds are sweet music
A distant known melody growing much closer
As rapture surrounds me mind overtakes spirit
Captured by reason
Fading, fading, itís fading awayÖ.

~~FOR YOU~~
12-1994
This is written to you from me
Whomever thinks they hold the key
To what you say then you donít know
Only one knows where to go
Can you unlock the hidden door
If so then weíll be one once more

~~CAPTURED~~
3-1995
Caught in a cloud between the sun and the rain
Iím drifting through space not feeling the pain of the rapture
Of tidal waves heard in my head
My soul is floating
My body is dead
Whispers of magic guide me to shore
To the place I call home
Thereís peace and no war
Feeling the breeze rip right through my heart
It gnashes and thrashes and tears me apart
Waiting is time slowly slipping away
Creating a rhyme trying to mean what you say

~~MR KNOW NOTHING~~
3-1995
Mr. Know Nothing
What did you say?
I cant understand the thought that I heard
Your words seem familiar but taking no meaning
Iím feeling unspoken guided by missiles
Headed straight for your doorway
Blocks are unbroken but smashed into nothing
Flat as a pancake
Iím so confused now
But straight in my thinking
Then your thought is mine, though not making sense
The battle of reason making war in my head
Take your thought back
Save it for another
Who understands your language of broken up thoughts
That donít fit together
Leave me in peace to fight my own war

~~THE DOOR~~
5-1995
Where is the door that was there yesterday
It was clearly in sight and opened so easily
Into the next frame a fog has developed
A thick barren wall , one of deception
Hiding the fact that the door still remains
Kept from clear sight although it is still there
I grasp through confusion and blindly proceed
Feeling the doorknob as if it belonged
I turn and gasp
Please donít be locked
As I go on my way
Leaving the mist of Illusion behind..

~~FREE SPIRIT~~
May 1995
The luminous glow of happiness known
Diminished into the abyss
Deeper, descending submerged in a substance
No air to breath, screams left unheard
With shattering clarity
Whereís the escape route from the sinister dungeon
Built by delusion
Inspired by fate
A flicker of hope leads to the passage
Thatís suddenly clear
Rising ascending
Though fear is a calling
I stop and I touch it and call it by name
Transformed into energy with wings like an eagle
With swiftness unmeasured
Lucidly knowing my spirit is free..

~~WHERE ARE YOU NOW?~~
1995
Where are you now?
Singing joyous melodies
Or chanting the death song as I call out your name
I started this hunt so many times before
But stil left unfinished
Too many obstacles blocking my way
Sweet kind strangers stop offering guidance
Along the narrow trail
Then once in the fork
Their sweetness is gone, true colors showing
They kick up the dirt, laughing evil whispers
Then go on their way
Leaving me alone to recover again
Then back on my journey, they send yet another sweet kind stranger
To see if Iíve learned
That the path is too narrow
Meant only for one
Who closes their mind to misdirecting clues
Looking only for truth that leads me to you..

~~THE WILLOW~~
1995
I remember now that last fateful day
The big willow tree where we were happy at play
When you took off in the woods running fast as I could
But you didnít slow down like I hoped that you would
When out of nowhere I fell in a snare
A hole left by trappers for a big black bear
Who looks mean and grumbles and would look good on their floor
But now Iím behind and there is n o door
I heard you calling you finally went on
Thinking I gave up and that I was gone
Or maybe you fell in the brown bears hollow
Where you sit and you hope that I will soon follow

~~LOST~~
1995
Wasteland of reason surrounded by sorrow
And bitter confusion, hopes unobtainable
Chance of a lifetime lost by a gamble
Not enough cards , wrong throw of the dice
Win but still lose, no definite outcome
For no one gives up and no one gives in
Last call for logic, deafness speaks loudly
The only way out is to deceive fate

~~FEAR~~
1995
Whispering to shadows over in the corner
Or are they just in my mind
Or maybe in yours for whose to say
What is real to you isnít really there
Or is it?
Fear is a monster with big evil smiles
Of laughter sharp as a sword
Cuts like a knife lurking in corners
Greets you at doorways
Welcome it and call it by name
It takes your hand and guides you to safety to unknown lands..

~~BETRAYED~~
1995
The tide of unfelt abandon betrayed by a heart still true
Whispers of unheard affection
Which only can be heard by you
Who glimpsed the shadow of doubt
Jaded by bad memories of ago
Achingly hurt, still deeply enchanted
The truth you will never know
For your eyes are sinisterly shaded
Your ears they hear not a sound
Trapped in your own little world with walls I cannot bound
Quietly sitting on the outside I stand and knock once again
Though no answer, Iíve still not faded
Retreating back into my den

~~WHATS NICE~~
Stepping stond becomes a rock
Perhaps a boulder
A mountain would be nice
Whatís nice?
Gypsy woman cast a spell
To lead me to the doorway
Without a lock would be nice
Whatís nice?
Tapping heels , home at last
To feel the crashing water
On a sunny day would be nice
Whatís nice?
I am you, you are me
Together we are one
Walking on the beach would be nice
Wouldnít it?

~~LIFTED~~
1995
Slipping
Letting go of terra time
Heart ceases to the wind
Catching gentle breeze slowly passing by
Lifted
Above the maze
Where the battle of the serpents hiss
Painfully struggling endlessly
The passage is dim of yet
They see not what has been seen
No realization of simple flight to higher planes
Away to catch a star
Drifting by far from reach
Simply there
Illuminating

~~CROSSING THE BRIDGE~~
1995
Crossing the bridge between time and space
I begin to see that the journey goes on
As if never ended
Whereís the beginning if there is no time
It all becomes one as the circle completes
Or has it begun
For an answer thereís none
Or one perhaps lost
As you think you are here
But really youíre there
When the limits are gone you can really just be
Itís a fantasy game
Thoughts deeply projected and believed by the masses
Creating the trap which all can escape
Some choose the route , most choose to stay
Unaware that the eclipse only hides the light

~~MYSTERY~~
1995
Pages of passage slowly turn onwards
Leaving impression of what is undone
Chapter releases mysteries unfolding
Leaving the thought that you know just who did it
Wild goose chase back to the puzzle
New evidence churning the trapped mind of logic
Confused yet so easily , reading the words
Things left unseen may point to the truth
Last chapter reveals the knowledge concealed

~~WANDERER~~
1995
Wayfarer, wanderer lost in oblivion
Ceasing to knowing that rapture is staid
Corruptive mind play, inviting disillusion
Vision is clouded, running toward back
Still focal reaching to grasp onto tightly
Theyíve called out your name
Though you cannot hear
Wandered too far
Long journey back
Riptide succumbing
Breathless again, you hold out your hand
Inviting the end to which there is none
As end is beginning, the circle completed
Around once againÖ.

~~SOON FORGOT~~

March 1995
Stumbled onto sage
Crashing water fills my head
With tripped up state of mind
Sends warning that time is near
The waiting has served itís due

Short glimpses through shutters closed
Seeking uncertainty
Though stealth of gold reclaimed again
Which canít be spent
Has solace things left behind
Which matter not
Soon forgot

~~SHANGRI LA~~
March 1995
Crashed again, last pawn taken
Jumped back twice to catch the noise
Of silent thunder
Rain overtakes
Flight cancelled
Take the bus
To Nowhere land
Where seekers search
The desert plane
Of nothingness
As if by faith
The will be sought
Oasis found
Shangri La

~~SHALL WE DANCE?~~
March 1995
Wash across the ocean rocks fulfilled but not deceived
Captured maze enclosed in glass
Troubled, troubled
Weather bares a stormy front wind takes form
Stacotto climbs another chord
Running still water
Quenched thirst
At last! At last!
The cup is full?
Shall we dance?

~~FARTHER DOWN THE ROAD~~
March 1995
Prison cell, depths of hell
Stealth of flood surrounding
Generating streams of terror
Caught but not abiding
Sent to teach, far from reach
Clever once again
Lesson learned Pages burned
Farther down the road

~~WINDCHIME~~
April 20, 1995
Windchime wit natures rhyme sings the seasons song
Instrument for Mother Nature wonderous change of tune
Enchantment of the new life Spring
Fiercely bangs the drums
Howling at Old Jack Frost
Trying to melt his frozen heart
Filled with anger fighting back with armies of snowqueen fairies
Trying to protect the crystal land
Though tired, they battle with fiercesome force
Awakening elves with the fever

To help the Big Oak find itís clothing Black Squirrels young ones need protection
From the creature of blood thirst
With arms of shiny steel
Preparing for bitter destruction
Claiming conquer, peace no more
Build the wall itís time for war

~~WINDDANCE~~

April 1995
Wind dance
Sun drum beating
One is body with the tide
Pulsing with the caling
Rain chants itís tune
Collecting my cinder dust
Wash down to the river flowing
Trees whisper forgotten language
Grass calling
Sanctuary
Birds can hear
Answering in simple voice
Flowers open up their eyes offering the gift of beauty
Nirvana found, then simply gone
When the music ceases..

~~~RETURN~~
April 1995
The man in black approached my door
Come now, itís time to go
Confused I was though easily led
Light as a bird, could I be dead
Will this trip keep me very long?
Do I need a coat or perhaps a shawl?
It will be awhile was his reply
Though I heard no sound his words were clear
It must be a dream
You have an appointment with the Judge
Sometimes it takes a blink of an eye
Sometimes an eternity
For you see
Youíve been calling me for quite some time
And I wasnít supposed to be sent
So the fate may be
In the dark misery
Free will has always been yours my dear
So I took his hand and from there we went
Seemingly floating, flying, twisting
Into this black tornado cloud
Which took us to the doorway passage
Inside there was a glorious light
Where the Judge sat in his chair
My young one you have traveled far
Iím sorry you canít stay for tea
There are some debts that you still owe
So youíre left with simple choice
Return again, and patiently, patiently
Wait for me to call your name
Or face the dark today

I cringed at such a destiny Though I knew my vice
The decision though painfully made
With a promise I could break, never
Instantly I was floating , flying, twisting in the warmest water known
This time with a shield of light
To save me from the evil knight
Around again, time to begin
The journey around once more

~~DROPOUT~~
April 1995
Victim of circumstance
Carry on believing that life a school of Hard Knocks
And you are just a pupil
Teacher
Mold their minds into societyís trap
I am just a dropout who will never again come back

~~BROTHER~~
April 1995
Brother
Will you hold my hand
The gates of mercy have been damned
The rage has grown to fateful numbers
Horrified that time seeks past
Minutes tick into seconds
Silence, it seems grows close
And then stifling thunder
Stakes us to our fateful end

~~WARRIOR~~
April 1995
Dreamcatcher
Door Keeper
Seeker of the Sign
Subconscious
Unconscious
Keep behind the line
Cross over
Night Warrior
Fighting for a cause
Trailblazer
Knowledge taker
Forgetting not the laws

~~PAIN~~
April 1995
Stabilize the frequency as winds of change
Still the mind repeat the course
Begin again
Reason for the twisting bend
Stipulate the word of doing
Donít deny the pain
For it will follow and proceed to chase you till the bitter end
~~ONE STEP~~
April 1995
Passion of the bounds of glory
Be still and wait for call
Master has tested faith
You will be bound by all
Until you see the gate of time accept you with itís fashion
Pardon me, youíre running late
Down you will come crashing
Planted seeds within the mind
Can you make them grow
Or wither into nothingness
The gift has been bestowed
Listen to words of simple
Asked in question form
See the mirror, from which is spoken
Feel the steady warm

~~FRIEND~~
April 1995
Whispering in my ear
Again I hear your voice
The words barely comprehend
Though Iíve made the choice
I listen and try desperately
To understand your wisdom
Though words repeated jumble
I seek a clearer vision
You came not long ago
A friend of the forsaken
Forever intertwined
Slowly awakened

~~FLY AWAY~~
April 1995
Haunted castle by the sea
Days of old beckon me
To past of yet to be seen
Trapped in vision so serene
Cat and mouse is game of choice
Chosen in a subtle voice
Hiding in the hidden wall
The ghost abounds and scares us all
Lonely years have caged his soul
Deluded into the hollow hole
He calls his friends but none can hear
They hide behind their unversed fear
So the old man sits by the shore
Waiting, he knows, not what for
The seagulls chant ďfly away!Ē
ďI canít ďhe says ďI have to stayĒ

~~LOST TURTLES~~
1995
Beachcombers treasure at night under starry sky
Old forgotten pirates ship marooned upon the shore
Home of lost turtles
Many couldnít survive the trip
Brave soldiers found anchor
Hidden from the hunter
Who beckons to come out and play
Hidden in their shell of fear
Shaking to their very core
Childhood conviction
Sentenced to their prison cell
Too young to play outside
If they survive till tomorrow
Theyíll show others the way

~~STRANGERS~~
May 1995
Strangers cross the path at dawn
Welcome favor, slipping time
As truth begun the battle won
Slowly diffusing wrath
Anger dissipates, slashing throes of will
The pain has spoken through the rain
That cleanses the spirit
Polished nation, embodied one..

~~UNSEEN~~
May 1995
scant microdot of words heard
Unknown
Pictures with no apparent reason fill my head
With remembrance of a time
Forgotten
Kept safetly in my souls eye
Mistaken
If only for a dream
Sadly
Left for misinterpretation
Unseen
True source of whatís to be

~~NOCTURN~~
1995
Why did you betray me in my darkest lonely hours
Abandonment of spirit true leads to loss of powers
Did I speak to the enemy revealing thoughts concealed
From the nocturnal creature
Who desires none healed
With back turned, you hear me calling knowing my remiss
Awaiting trustful return with overjoyed bliss
Standing, though desolate I know that youíre still there
The truth of silence overtakes and welcomes with a prayer

~~LUCID DREAM~~
May 1995
Running through a borrowed time
Silence whispers through deaths ear
Darkness climbs the mansion stairs to the top for all to see
Slaying all to who holds fear
The hand is reaching through the stars
Showing vision, through the clouds
Escaping pain thatís binding all
To the tower tall and proud
Fly my friend, but do not fall
Jumping in the clumsy fashion
Waving arms like bird in flight
Teetering with a current wind
Floating downward once again
Practice makes the perfect flight
Come back again tomorrow night
Traveling backward once again
In the darkness forest green
Arms and legs are subtle limbs
Reaching for my deepest seat
Stirring not I find the frame
To which Iíll never be the same

~~THE LIGHT OF YOU~~
June 1995
Escaping from the dismal cloud
Your essence found me in the crowd
Though time has ceased not long ago
The clock now ticks through future known
Haunting of the way lost soul
The spirit moved the mountain hold
Reason laughed and aimed the arrow
Close call dodge, though killed the sparrow
Faith of one not to reprove
Healing heart will calmly soothe
Flowing like a river stream
Richer than a pirates dream
The Sun has brought the rainbow true
Colored with the light of You

~~THE RIFT~~
June 1995
Speaking words, none can hear
The rift it seems is dashing blur
Trails of anguish chasin me
Becoming clear that they canít see
Returning quiet thoughts are still
My happiness they long to kill
Lock the door, bury the key
Trapped again, inside of me

~~IF YOU~~
July 1995
If you became me what would you see?
The hatred and violence or pure ecstacy
The innocent children in a world so unfair
Where the enemies are more than the ones who care
The old who are brittle with knowledge far reaching
The young ones pass by and claim them beseeching
My brother fell down in the downnpouring rain
They didnít see him and he washed down the drain
My sister was hungry begging for food
They thought she was lazy and obscenely rude
If you were them , who would you be
Until youíve worn their shoes you will never see me

~~PARADOXAL MINDGAME~~
June 1995
Paradoxal mindgame

For whom to be deceived
Camoflaged as wisdom
The state has been received
Stepping into deep realm
Seeking truth of lore
Mercenary visitors draw their slighty sword
Beckoned from the distant shiftshaping land
Where liars seek out the stark illus
ion grande
Behold the wrath of one who knows
Evil lurks in borrowed clothes
Trying to shift the train of thought
With throes of passion souls are bought
Hearken friend, watch your door
For those who knock want to play war

~~IF ONLY~~
1995
As I walked down the path I could sense that you were near
Perhaps it was your spirit wiping away my tear
I could feel your arms around me, your gentle warm embrace
Touching me so softly I could almost see your face

Our hearts were chanting one with the spirits of the trees
Lifting us up through the gentle passing breeze
If I had only known when we reached the starlit sky
The wind would take my hand
And speak to me a lie
When I broke through the cloud and floated back to the ground
The rain was laughing pain and you were nowhere around
So lonely do I tread, slowly walking amiss
Embracing but the moment of our last goodbye kiss

~~REFLECTION~~
June 1995
Vanishing in a mirror reflection straightly though the window pane
Logging the hour frequent knowing time of day
Ceased by the caught illusion slipping through the crevice hole
Rounded by vast perception but was stifled through the role
Laughing at the simple voice carried through the wind
Time scantly confused the motion , onward once again

~~CALL~~
June 1995
Rippling heart of the wild calling to the earth who knows her young
They run away but always come home
Peaceful state of borrowed beauty for only a short time
Simple haven for retreat
Into the ground from which we started safe in the arms of the mother
herself
Whose loving care when we first came
Would guide us back again

~~WHOíS THERE?~~
1995
Strike the straight and narrow with a golden glowing stick
Hoping that the blaze will start to roar
Rampant intrusion on the half of the whole
They wonder but they still donít know
Who can buy the tide with the whisper of the sea
We stand behind the gate not contained
Moving toward the sound we shout at the sun
Battle of the distance half sustained
We seem to be dancing though the music canít be heard
They listen to the silence in the dark
Stirring but a slight light of reflection
Rubbing sticks together makes a spark

~~REPEAT~~
1995
Slow it down or speed it up it always stays the same
Ending is beginning it takes me home again
Take one out, put one in it seems that Itís still there
No one seems to notice, no one seems to care
Even when the rabbit died it still lived through you
Taking on new meaning, leaving not a clue

~~TRIP~~
1995
At night by the river bank silver dust collected
Glittering like diamonds in the scepteral light
Raised by the angel showing gate to the land that was long since abandoned
By the parasite called man
Opening the vision clear the current strong is still
Or was it an illusion all along?
I heard my father calling saying child youíve come home
Iíve waited many aeons for this stately time of season
I thought that you were lost when the dove came home alone
Though you seem a little different now
I see the fire in your eyes
And the nymph he will show you where he buried all the stars

~~TRAPDOOR~
June 1995
Visitor from where did you walk your last step
Running from or welcoming the wind
Seclusion has itís safety as the trapdoor it seems is open
Falling through was never very easy
Jumping over missing gain, only backwards to the same
Destiny is only yours to take
Chasing tail can make you see
Thereís only one true source
Though frantically astounded by the simple face of doubt
The treading has sunk you into deeper direr grave
But look, the top is bottom
And it wasnít all so bad
For it seems that the stranger
Held onto tightly to my hand

~~RENEGADES~~
1995
Renegades have seen the spades
Of dancing time stand still
Holocaust left them to lost with nothing more to hope for
Death has sought their breath
Banished city darkened
Alone, to find their own without a light to see
Stumbling, their world crumbing
Down upon their shoulders
Submission, to past tradition speaks only of their pain

~~JUST FOR A MOMENT~~
1995
Just for a moment I reach for your passion
In the dark pooled eyes that reach for my thoughts
Beckoning with motive that seems to be higher
Than the stars that light up the moon lit sky
The prize is kept in an air tight box
Locked with the dark key of distrust
Limited to an unfulfilled fantasy
That takes me to depths your eyes will not see

~~OUR SONG~
~ 1996
Your words flow so easily as they guide me to a place
Where the shadows havenít found the way to follow
Though deception is tempting I throw it to the wind
Who will take it to itís home in the shade
Left alone with your song, Iíve known it all along
That the battle was always within
Though a truce was called and the casualties few
Will the harmony now begin to blend?
I can still hear your song though I know Iím not alone
I just forgot that your song is mine

~~MESSENGER~~
1996
Who have I become but a messenger
With a message I donít really k now
Patiently I wait for an answer
To a question
Iím sure I will never know

~~ELECTRIC DREAM~~
1996
As I laid down to sleep I was awakened by a force
Unseen by naked eye but felt throughout the soul
Electricity runs through my cells jolting me to feel
The love buried deep inside that suddenly is real
Lifted from my place in space and floating down again
Paralyzed by anxious dread I could feel no more
Trapped in a room so small with a curtain made of fear
I reached out for the Gods in the hopes that they would hear
Help those who help themselves is what they always say
I commanded to wake up and rose up from my bed

``LIES`~
1996
Believe in the story of the days gone by
For rumour has it that weíve all been told a lie
Who walks among us and pretends to understand
That it wasnít just a dream or just a slight of the hand
Have you heard in the distance the roar of the thunder
That captured your spirit and blew you asunder
The tide has ripped through you though left you to stand
For it too welcomes the wind and will guide you to land

````SHADOW```
1996
Why did you jump out and scare me again
Just when I thought you were gone for good
You left just as quick as you came long ago
I shouldíve known that it wouldnít be long
Sneaking up from behind always made you smile
As you glistened in the fear in my eyes
Waiting with glances
Looking over my shoulder
Never helps for you still own the
Element of surprise

~~SUSTAINING~~
1996
Rock the cradle of despair
My eyes have seen but cannot care
Tripping over stepping stones
I fell down and broke my bones
Walking softly in the shade
As if a zombie on parade
They call to me and try to heal
Knowing not that I cannot feel
Through my curtain made of grey
Sustained again inside the clay

~~ STILL LIFE~~
1996
Still life, caught in motion
Drifting in white space
Where time is nonexistent
Animation taken backwards
Losing reason for the rhyme
Clicking the pictures in their place
Synchronicity is the key
Images found in the mirror
Reflections of strangers
Gazing back at me

~~PRISON OF REASON~~
1996
When I told you of my vision of the man from the stars
You said it was a game played within my mind
But how does logic know the secrets of the sun
What is the answer if the question isnít known
You told me to be silent for my words are so unheard
But the hearing doesnít come to those with deafened ears
Listen with your heart and then discernment will be clear
Though I think you are held prisoner by reason

~~THE BOX~~
1996

You took it all away My collected box of broken things
The torn letter that I was saving
Waiting for the missing piece
The shattered glass
I couldíve glued it back together
Someday when hell froze over
The dead flower..
That someone gave me long ago
And said it would last forever
The pictures with people missing
Who would have guessed
They were never really there
The box always seemed to find itís way into my closet
But you..
You finally found a way to make it disappear

~~~ROAD CLOSED~~
1996
You know who I am youíve been here before
You walked right through my dead-locked door
Came right in though the sign said ďCLOSEDĒ
Did you use the key you found on the road
I thought I was alone on that darkened path
You must have been quiet
So I wouldnít look back
I welcomed you in though it was quite a scare
I didnít really think that you would find me here
Hid and go seek was my favorite game
And I was hid pretty good until you came
Now Iím out in the open and I hope youíll stay
Maybe we can find a new game to play

~~CRASHING INTO DAATH~~
August 5th, 2001
I cannot speak of shrouded things
With brightened glow of things below
Within the eyes these things are blinded
Humbled- ever turning- winding
Around the ape and serpent living
Deep within- reverse in rhyme
Toward past the fire ever burning
Around to meet in center stirring
Eternity in a liquid mirror
A swirl of magic in the air
A seed was planted in the void
A choice that cannot be destroyed
An embryonic child floating
Filled with life and ever growing
Breathing deep the cosmic waters Exhaling light in forceful showers
The blue light liquid formed a shape
The day the man merged with the ape
The serpent climbed
The earth is shaking.

~~PAINTED NATURE~~
1996
The trees danced to the bellowing wind
As the windchime played itís tune
And the diamonds glistened in the rippling waves
As the sun bent down to the orange moon
The blue canvas in the skyway view
Clouds are pictures drifting through
The crickets sing the lullaby
Until early birds emit their cry
To awaken spirit of the rising sun
Whose job is it to shine light on one

`~~REPEAT TWO~
1996

Why did I come back here again
Itís always the same wherever you go
I look at you though I know youíre me
Really
Whatís the point?
Itís endless and Iím so very tired of trying
To make the you of me see
See what?
Well , I donít really know
So I guess thatís the game
And I quit!

I see you and I heard what you said
But words mean nothing to the me of you
And I guess when we get there then weíll know
Why we came back here
To this same old place
Of the the ďwondering why weíre hereĒ

~~BARRICADED SOUL~~
1996
The rain
It cleanses me
Trickles through my veins
Flowing throu
gh my blood
Animal wind
Calling me home
So long ago forgotten
Where my family awaits
Crashing thunder
Awaken
To a lingering memory
The mist of the calling sun
Lightening dances
Barricaded soul
Left to mass disarray
With the barrier frayed

~~ANCIENT SIGN~~
1995
The stranger held me on his lap, though a friend from long ago
Holding knowledge of ancient days, repeating what Iíve always known
Black melted wax disintegrates into burning hot embers
Glancing into crystal waters
Yesterday encases my soul
The shadow creature found me grey
Though I slipped through defeats clutches
To wait for one with cast illusion
A sign from my friend the stranger

~~ROSE SPECTACLES~~
September 19, 1995
Spectacle shades of rose, blinded for an eternity it seemed
You looked different then, back in the days of burning hell
Where the flames danced in circles round
Silently standing in the middle waiting for the shatter
When courage rose and took them off
You look different now
Now that theyíre gone
My eyes have cleared, through the fire that wasnít even there
Deceptive glasses colored rose

~~TRIP TO THE STARS~~
July 1995
Locked tightly in my small matchbox
Wondering how I can set myself free
Knowing safety lies in walls that contain
Though Iím struggling just to breath
Escaped through a crack for a moment in time
Traveled far on a warm summer breeze
On the wings of a friendly chuckling bird
To the tide of the seven seas
The seagulls laughed at the peculiar sight
And joined us on a trip to the stars
Who gleamed in delight for newfound friends
And then drew us a map to mars
But old Father Time pointed at his watch
And said it was time to go home
With a sad little grin
I said goodbye to my friend
And went back to my box alone

~~SERIOUS~~
1995
Serious, who gave birth to that guy
Who likes to live under the gun
Happy is a jolly old fellow
Who knows how to still have fun
If Serious could be Happyís friend
He would see the rabbit jump out of the hat
But the rabbit knows Serious well
And knows heíd get hit with a bat
So Happy
Keep Serious away
For he doesnít know how to grin
For you see
Heís Miserys friend
They think Happy is the worlds biggest sin

~~BLOOD SISTER~~
1995
Paralysis surged through my body trapped within the shell
Struggling for new deliverance from the virtual hell
When a tiny lass with youthful way abounded through the door
With anarchy upon her face she prepared for bloody war
Self destruction suited her, she left for endless seconds
Second though had framed her way, and with dagger she would reckon
Severing my dormant limb though fully quite aware
Numbness had called on strength, a moment we both would share
With thought I called out to her, ďCome angry little oneĒ
She disappeared into the night, the bloody ritual done

~~HANGING BY A THREAD~~
1995
Tugged on the rope too taut, the edges are fraying away
Left to bare a frail thread, unraveling more each day
When the final strand has ceased to hold
Dominoes falling like mighty bricks
The weight of ten tons over limit
Come crashing down upon my head
Dashing for protective cover
Safe within the blanket of white
Cushioned from the material blow, a familiar sigh has uttered relief
Braiding the rope back together
Made stronger with help from a friend
Into an indestructible tether..

~~LOOKING FOR UNION~~
1995
Walking down Lost Road
Treading the path of the Hill
I wander looking for Union
Where the man has been sent to kill
A French lieutenant by the name of Pierre Jean Claude
Who lives in a house made of brick
A red school house where learning is past
But the meadow of green is still
The flowers have ceased to grow
On the battleground of long ago
He called me though I couldnít hear
The frequency changed and the line went dead
So he sat alone with his empty phone
And waited with anxious dread
Though I waited for his call again
The answer still hasnít come
Why the war of a thousand years
Still goes on his head
Maybe when the flowers grow
Maybe then heíll finally know

~~ON THE EDGE~~
1995
Shifting through the paradigm
Lacking but a motion
Sifting through the symptom of anguish
Standing on the border
Closer to the edge
The rope has been dangled from above
Gripping onto tightly
Slipping for a moment
The darkness below beckons my fall
Steepness has measured a long worthy distance
If only strength could scale the wall

~~LEFT FOR DEAD~~
1995
Left for dead on the stairway
I opened hallowed eyes to see
But could not
For the pennies laid heavily
With the forces of gravity prevailing
Inward glancing clearly
The fog has lifted once again
Alive to walk slowly to the top

~~SHADOW HAUNTS~~
1995
I scream unearthly cries
Wailing echoes through the valley
Where the grass is dead never to grow green again
I haunt through hollow hole
Eating all your pleasure, dissolving it into pain
I find your weakest bone, crushing it into dust
Blown away to howling wind
I know you as you are me
Though kept tightly locked up
I can escape through fear
My name is Shadow
My existence is clear

~~`WINTER COLD~~
1995

I called for you many times
You came with the gentle wind
White Candles burning softly in the warm trace of your light
The sureness of your heart opened gates of lost abandon
Gushing water emptied into rapid flowing stream
Flooding into my head, drowning in confusion
Damned the cleansing water
Until the sun begins to shine
But you, my dearest love, I left you in the bitter winter
Hoping that my flame will remain to keep you warm

~~IMMORTAL DREAM~~
1996
As night overtook my consciousness
I sought out a spirit in flight
Which took me away on a moonlit journey
Where I found you amidst your dreams
We raced on the snowcovered mountain
With the laugh of the count we numbered the stars
And the spell of immortality was cast upon my heart
Yesterday remains forever and a day
Though I light the deep red candle
Youíre still a million miles away
Someday youíll awake and remember> Youíve always been here with me
~~AGONY~~
1996
Slapping your face was like a crack of thunder
On a warm summer day
Slamming the door hammers through my soul
As I waited for you to knock again
Falling tears drowning my sorrows
In the lake of agony
Another day my heart speaks of your safe return

~~BLINDED~~
1996
The mask of deception has clothed my face
Bore alone to travel the depths of yesteryear
Sinking deeper as the trickling sands
Slip quickly through the hourglass
Leaving me to ponder through the tears
Iíve called out with wretching screams
Knowing they are there remaining silent
Waiting for my eyes to clear and finally see
A newborn baby breathing life for the first time
Gasping air though hungry yet for the water
Perhaps the blindness remains to be a scar
From a misdeed remembered from days long ago
Wondering if theyíll wait for merciful cries
Or if theyíll leave me on the doorstep abandoned

~~SCATTERED STONES~~
1996
I bend down to pick up the stone that I tripped over in my last step
But alas, itís surrounded by many
Allowing me not the focus of one
Clearing the path that lies ahead, watching the steps that are taken
I begin realization of the moment
That the bird is singing his song for my ears
And I know he will sing again
Now the rain comes in place of my tears
The sun has become my friend
That the spirit of the bird in my memory lingers with the one in the Ageless Tree

~~THE DESERT~~
1995
Barefoot, I walk through the desert sand
Stagnant heat rips through me from the scorching sun
Scorpions with stingers poised await my passing
Buzzards are laughing for my time is near
Anxious they are ravenous for their feast
Barefoot I walk through the desert sand
The prickly cactus bends out a welcome call
For their paradise is as lonely as a passing wind
The sunset paints colors in the open sky
As the moon awakens to the barren floor
Casting a mirage of crystal lake
Barefoot I walk through the desert sand

~~ECHO~~
1995
Your call came to me, a simple melody in the wind
I felt you grasp my hand again, but your fingers slipped away
The storm still reigns though I struggle to keep the battered shelter
Staid
While you slumber through the echo of the rain
Though I know of your nightmare
I can only watch you sleep
And wait for the Sun to wake you

~~UNDERGROUND~~
1995
Amazing grace Iíve seen the face of the one who walks with the staff
Instill my heart Iím coming apart
For I long for the green meadow grass
Behold the light that shines at night for the end has only begun
Desire to heal the one made of steel though their only wish is to run

~~ICE~~
1995
Though the cold winter snow falls upon me like the night upon the earth
Causing it to slumber
Frozen solid the ice runs through me like a knife
Swiftly through my heart
Alone
Thoughts of you tend to the flickering flame burning within my soul
if only
A moment
Until the blizzard has passed and the warmth of the sun
Has joined us together once again

~~THE BOX~
1995
Ages of wisdom left to tarnish in the old copper box in the basement
Only a few knew its hiding place
Though even they knew not where the key lay
For an old man filled with greed
Hungry yet for more knowledge still knew that he was the richest
With the pride he contained
And no one could match his power
But on
a warm summer day A little girl with big open eyes
Did see the box alone in the basement
Hidden behind the wall, she saw it
Through the crack and wished a knowing wish
That the key left long ago to be handed down
From generation of daughters,not broken, would fit
And it did, unlocking the ancient mysteries of old

~~BLUE~~

It is true, the passion of blue
Is deeper than the rose of red
Sorrow and sadness hold hands with gladness
Pain has taught flames to dance
Itís sad, when the light is had
Shows the shadows of the darkest corners
Continuing to struggle but not stopping to snuggle
Love was never given a chance

~~THE DISAPPEARANCE~
1995
Training the eyes to see was more a chore than my mind could embrace
The blur entangled me like a widows web
Glimpsing through the pinhole trying to embrace the warmth again
The struggle was too severe
Losing sight of what I became
Engulfed once again the darkness
Nothing mattered since I disappeared

~~LOST REFLECTION~~
1995
She walked down to the rivershore
To see her reflection in the mirror
Ripples blew enchantment into her flowing dark hair
Glistening with magic dust she stepped upon the deck
Of a boat called the River Queen
A returned illusion from a wreck
She sailed on the current of the wicked undertow
Collecting precious gems for the King to bestow
When she reached the Crystal palace she found a lock upon the door
Turning, she walked away, knowing she wasnít welcome any more

~~TRANCE~~
1995
The parade, thus it seems the captured moment has but escaped
Watchers all, held captive by the moment when the horse stands tall and proud
Striking dead, a simple notion that this showcase s but an illusion in their head
So they dance, showing us to follow in their inescapable trance
Pleased to meet you sir as the world has gone a blur and the simple way has pleased me so a walking I will go

~~INTO TOMORROW~~
1995
Ricochet the blade, that warranted attention
He sought to be the one of worldly affection
Traitor, the rogue of the simple mind at ease
Releasing all his power to an apparition need
Scaling the wall, had been a humble task indeed
Mystery of the man who wears the hood of illusion
Causing him to stumble, falling into seclusion
Wanting to return, though afraid of the dragon
Utters not a word for heís sure heís been abandoned
Submissive to the fear of being unduly stranded
Lying down to dream, he becomes aware of the door
Resisting the temptation, for it wasnít there before
Awakened from his slumber, with the wish he could have stayed
But his home is in the darkness, the eternal shade of grey
Tricked into thinking heís been molded into clay
Sitting down to wait for release from his cage
He strains his ears to hear a haunting song being played
A very simple tune made with just a few key chords
The melody of enchantment of a place heís been before
Gathering up his courage, he opens up the door

~~ILLUSION~~
1995
Strength
it comes only when one is weakened by the rusty hinges holding up the door
Escape
through untold intention has but covered up the crack in the floor
Struggle
prevails through uncertainty as it rains in the window not closed
Returning to the art of illusion
Finding the way down the road

~~LORALEI Ė ONE~~
1996
One starlit night as I was walking
Down the trail of River Bend
I saw you, you were there
As you were always there
But you were different, just enough
Just enough, I ran away
Far away, to this day, donít see you any more
Fore I know
Now I know who you were and where youíve been
Letís pretend, lets pretend youíve gone away
Far away, to a place where Iíll never see your face
Or hear your all, yes my dear, I can still hear your call
For my fall, did you think
Did you think you could succeed?
Dying breed, yes we walk, we walk the path of dusty trail
With the form of the living
With the living we prevail

~~LORALEI Ė TWO~~
(same poem Ėdifferent mix)
1996
One night as I was walking toward the light
You appeared, you, the one I most feared
Always there, I called you, once on a dare
In disguise, I hadnít recognized your lies
If I had only knew the song of Loralei
I could have opened up my eyes to see
One summer day, when you let me out to play
I heard a song, though it wasnít very long
I began to see you, then I ran
Ran far away, for you looked different on this day
I had heard the song of Loralei
Now my eyes were beginning to see
Call of death, I can almost feel your breath
Dying breed, did you think you would succeed
Dusty trial, but through the living we prevail
With a form, that you can never adorn
Now I sing the song of Loralei
Hoping that others will see

`~~MY IMAGINARY LOVER~~
1996
My imaginary lover, to whom Iíve found no other
You remain the object of my thoughts
You hide in utter silence, stand in strict defiance
Staring at my innocence has always been your vice
Stammering I wonder, if I have fell asunder
Or stood in silence choosing not to seek
For life has been to easy, when I choose you not to please me
And you remain a shadow in my mind
My visionary lover, to whom Iíve found no other
You remain the object of my life

~~~FLIP SIDE~
1996
Watching through the threshold of the window of pain
I saw, I saw the grass on the hill
On the other side, where the meadow is green
And the flowers are always in bloom
Peering through the doorway on the flip side of the wall
I noticed, yes I noticed my people
They waved as to greet me, not to deceive me
Welcoming me with open arms

~~~~~SUGGESTION~~
1996
He was lost
Shifting movement of the sand
His sight was overcome by the dust
Succumbing to the thought that he could no longer see
Frantically groping the air with his hand
Standing on the edge of the rainbow
No longer seeing the color of light
Drifting to the darkness closer to the edge
Returning to the spirits of the night
They say he is burning in the infernal flame
Where demons are chanting his name
But his eyes have cleared and he no longer feared
For his only hell was on this plane

~~RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS~~
1996
To run through the woods
Barefoot
I had only take off my shoes
The black ones, with straps
That Iíve worn since time stood still

~~ENGRAVED IN TIME~~
1996
She walked in and she saw him
Once again, he touched her soul
With the flame of burning desire
For the love that they shared long ago
He took her to the Crystal palace
Where guards were standing to protect
But she looked in the mirror and saw her fear
Fleeing from her own self respect
He followed for a moment engraved in time
Knowing the wall was made of brick
He held her hand and kissed her good-bye
For the wall was made too thick
Though she cried with tears unyielding
Knowing that he had been her own
She left for fear he was deception
And he could turn her heart to stone

~~PLAYER PIANIST~~
1996
Wandering through the woods at night
Crimson light
Welcomes fright
Fearing that the path I walk will never clear the end
Simple trine enchanted tunes
Swaying swoons
Pale lit moons
Lifted by the morning breeze of daylight creeping in
Fragrant budding of flowers bloom
Coloured loom
Seizing doom
Tripping into ecstasy where life has made itís claim
Spreading of the wings to fly
Soaring high
Starlit sky
Recognition of the dream will never be the same
Beckoned by the song of yore
Lofty lore
Drifting shore
Misty veils are closing eyes to shadow walk again
Darkness rails the newfound bliss
Phantom kiss
Jarred amiss
Muses in the bay emit their wailing echo cries

~~UNLEASH~~
1996
Pallid, whatís become of me
Hearing forgotten scriptures of old
Melody, has enraptured me
As the forbidden secrets unfold
Laid to sleep but could not rest
The structures weakened at the foundation
Letting loose the animal within
For a time, when rhyme forgot reason

Led by the straying arms
My heart left beating to the tune of the nonchalant drummer
Total being what you sought for yesterday
Which never came

Even when youíre not seeking truth
Truth has a way of finding you

Itís agreed upon that which holds tomorrow may someday reign the free world

~~THE LIGHTENING~~
1996
Has deceit fleshed my body
And clothed my mind in tattered dress
Where wisdom has found a hole to lie
Pressured by the scapegoat man
Restless from a surging hunger
With skill, the anguish cleaves
Garnished with the costume mask
Trained by those who glory seek
Guided to the point too far
When scattered voices screamed
ďBehind you, look, the lesson lies
To hear not now to fall againĒ
Beneath the barren scripture wall
Touching but uncertain paths
The past has sought the turn of time
Glancing over shoulder bares
Remembrance of the sage once known Turning face to hear the thunder
From the lightning comes the clue

~~~~~FALL~~~~
1996
Fallen state to berate the wrath of the wanting man
Whose powerful will has become his only friend and foe
Lunging into the darkness, eternal flames sears his passions
Wanting for not what has become of him
Glancing unto one of them, they become you
Calling to your heart to listen to the morning sun
That sheds the light for what seems to be a moment
And welcomes day before the rain begins to fall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~A HIDING PLACE~`
1996
I was hiding under the shield of the mighty mountain
When you searched the hidden valleys by the creek Thirsty for the sweet golden nectar
That you so like to drink
The wind has whispered of your hunger

Ravenous, though I will feed you no more
The dove has sung the song of enchantment
Showing me escape through the door
You stumble to the door,, you cannot open
For you are blind and you cannot see
Feasting on another, an eternal addiction
Trapped in a mirage of what you can no longer be
Guarded by the White Knight of Trinidad
He carries me upon his golden steed
To the crystal palace found in my seclusion
Where there is no wanting
And there is no need

~~~~GYPSY GIRL~~~
1996
Thank you for the time wrought with drunken wine
For my existence has struggled to stay
You took me by the hand we left your merry land
To dance together if only for a day
Was the song too long or perhaps it was wrong
Struggling to make it work that way
When you felt the moonlight swirl of the dancing gypsy girl
Who has cast her spell your way

~~LIVING LEGEND~~~
1996
The tides are turning, the fire burning
We walk beneath the sea
The treasure is found , we become earthbound
To live by Apolloís creed
The Gods have become your brothers
Your sister Aphrodite lives down the street
Zeus is your loving father
With a few you have yet to meet
The circle has become never ending
And time has begun to stand still
In the middle, life is a fairy tale
Where the participants only seem real
Did you see the wolf in sheeps clothing
Or the prince that was turned into a frog
Your fairy godmother helped you last night
When you found yourself lost in the fog
Watching the enfolding drama
Which it seems can only repeat
If you would like to join me for the next act
I can help you locate your seat

~~HAUNTING VISION~~
1996
Waltzing naked in the night as my form remains asleep
Has my sanity flown away
Developed wings and flown away
A moments thought pursuant of the never binding wish
To walk amidst my guiding friends
Letting go I see my friends
Leaving hold of one who left
Perchance to remain still
Waiting patient for eyes to see
Remaining still when I could see
Our final dance, the final stage
We lie in loving sweet embrace
When vision left I seen the face
Carried through that haunting face

~~NECROMANTICS~
1996
Sitting in the box of necromance
The air rotates and separates
Distinguished from disaster
Speck of dust becomes a ball of swirling light of passion
Stay now, stay now, with that of which to stay now
Images found in the box
To lead without a tether
Ruptures permeated lines
Straight into tomorrow
Stay now, stay now, With that of which I stay now

~~RISING FIRE~
1996
courted by a nightly jest from the terrain of tomorrow
Slipped through the crack in the void of which remains still
Surrounded by the wave, theyíve finally come to save me
If only for a moment, Eternity has been fulfilled
Are they of the necromance
When the music stopped they seized the chance
The dance of the waking moment
Unlocking time within the box
Enclosed under sacred lock and key
The fire has risen
Enabling the blind to see

~~LAW UNSPOKEN~~
1996
Who inspired this fate, filled with anger and hate
Has it all been a game, with yourself to blame
Who made the rules to this game for fools
Iíve heard the law unspoken
Is it time to begin, give the wheel a spin
Chances collide, walked out from inside
Swept from the dream, as hard as
it seemed
Iíve heard the law unspoken

~~ROAD CALLED NEXT TO TOMORROW~~
1997
Iíve reckoned with trite composure
And Iíve balanced on a line too thin
One day I swayed too far one way
Causing strife down a road Iíve been
The road called Next to Tomorrow
Where they scream at the past mistakes
If I could just borrow, their unbridled sorrow
That would be just one less chance to take
Iíve traveled to an unknown region
Which can only be labeled insane
By those who have stayed because theyíre afraid
Of the beauty of the vast new terrain
As I chance the struggle of confusion
And battle the mind to the end
The future unknown will someday loan
The insight to the perfect blend

~~~SLAVE OF DARKNESS~~
1996
I held his hand through the land of the damned
And seen eternity rise
One last chance till the final dance
With my soul as the sacrifice
The phoenix flew, and I finally knew
I had one chance to escape
Holding tight to the bird, though it seemed absurd
And was freed from the darkened fate
Though the river runs in one direction
And the fire still burns hot
Iíve kept hold of the image in the reflection
Which cannot be borrowed or bough
I havenít closed the book on the blackened rook
As his tale has just begun
For he was deceived, and was captured by the Queen
And his chance of escape slim to none
So I watch in the dark, at the fallen lark
As he desperately tries to fly
If he would just look, to the end of the book
Heíd be free to fly into the sky
Where the river still runs in one direction
And the fire still burns hot
If heíd just grasp his image in the vast reflection
He would never be borrowed or bought
Iíve tried holding steady until heís ready
Though Iím told the time is near
When theyíve paid in full and completely rule
Their puppet made of fear
And heíll only dance, when they give him a chance
Blind though they can see
I can only watch as he continues to dodge
The fate that belonged to me
The river still runs in one direction
The flame will always burn hot
But Iíll never again lose the image in the reflection
And Iíll never be borrowed or bought

~~LURKING~~
1996
Believe me, trust me, Iíd never tell a lie
Turn your back, so I can attack
And leave before I say good-bye
Jaded, sedated, almost completely faded
Caught in the turn, I thought you learned
That I would never die
You heard the voice within last night
Though shuddering you knew
Iíve never missed a blink of an eye
And for eternity I will pursue

~~~TRAPPED IN HELL~~
1996
I didnít see the curtain fall
As the last brick completed my barren wall
I couldnít feel the water rise
As I drowned in the deception made out of lies
You took my hand, and helped me stand
My only friend in this unknown land
We went by boat, the water churned
I realized too late I could never return
They came but couldnít hear my cries
You captured their attention with your new disguise
They envisioned what you made them dream
If only they could hear my eternal screams
You took me to hell, letft me to burn
Your haunting laughter takes a twisted turn
Remind me my friend, I can never go home again
Iím stuck in this nightmare till the bitter end

~~ETERNAL INCARCERATION~~
1996
Lying down to rest, but could not sleep
As a thousand chants seem to utter my name
Iím lifted through the fog to a skyway view
The tale has begun to replay
Somewhere, long ago, I was lost in a maze
A shattering crash left time to stand still
As the bridge disappeared, I entered a daze
In the town of the unfamiliars
I heard the voices, calling, searching
But to my disdain, I could utter no sound
I searched still the same, for just even my name
It was then, I saw my brother
So I ran to him, pleaded him
Letís go back home, you must know the way ďHow much will you pay?Ē He muttered with no recognition
So I wandered through this lost city
With the aim of the blinded archer
Confused, in pain, every turn was the same
In this place of no departure
My father appears from time to time
In a form I have yet to receive
For he comes and goes, as the wind surely blows
Leaving me alone in this strange domain
This eternal point of incarceration
Has ceased to admit my disgrace
I still hear a thousand voices calling
ďWhere are You?, come home again..Ē

~~~DROWNING~~
1996
One look in your eyes captured me
And I knew I was drowning
In the tide of the sea
Surrendering for a time to the current
My breath has forsaken me
Adjoined with the turbulence
Going down for the third time
On my own All alone
As it seems, or are you by side
Have the richest of treasures been exposed to our souls?
Or an illusion
Which will quickly subside

~~WRATH OF NEMESIS~~
1996
Four counts of manslaughter, murder in the first degree
Though the body walks upon this earth
The spirit the Reaper seized Stone cold eyes glaring red,
an eye for an eye they said
Nemesis has no mercy,
there is no protection from the dead
Betrayed once in the harvest
Though torn she let him in
He ripped through her open wound
Concurred through second deadly sin
The lies portrayed a figment of the mind
His triple gain
Her heart lie gaping from the knife
Denouncing all the pain
Fourth account while lying cold he danced upon her grave
Justice hunts the wicked with the wrath of the betrayed

~~THE WITCH OF TRAVERSE HARBOUR~~
1996
The Witch of Traverse Harbour, disguised as maiden fair
Went into town and looked around
Hypnotizing men with her stare
The men they gaped with wonder
And followed her wherever she went
She must be mine, they versed in chime
Leading to their descent
With sweet honey she fed them
Dancing with them Ďtill dawn
Lured away, they went astray
The maps to their souls were drawn
She took them to the River Styx and paid the ferry man his gold
Feeling proud, she laughed aloud
Eternal youth was hers to behold
Be wary of an elegant beauty
Enticing you with her song
Cling to your mate, the choice is your fate
And hell is the prize if youíre wrong

~~~BACKWARDS~
1996
To whom it may concern, life was a struggle from the start
Pushed from the beginning with a frightful static scream
Tried to wak but fell as they laughed at vanquished efforts
Juggling pain with passion has encountered the final gain
Spun the wheel of fortune past the point of no disdain
In the clockwise direction where the seconds run their toll

As the teary moonlight window rose
I glanced toward the heavens
Twinkling eyes, winking twice
Twas yesterday remembered
A growing star with distant call
The light grows even brighter
Tomorrow sings of sacred things
That leaves no hope unmeasured

Wished upon a falling star
A glittering glowing ember
For one who could take the summer sun
And save it for December

~~~~~STAY~~~
1996
A whisper in my ear, so clear
Your touch embraced my thoughts
I wish you knew, I think itís you
But the pain still holds me distraught
Iíve been bound by time in the passing
And Iíve struggled forever it seems
But when you held me close, I watched the ghost
Of the past take flight and leave
Iíd walk with you through tomorrow
Will you stay just one more day
And whisper in my ear, so clear
That you will love me when Iím gray

~~~THE KNIGHT OF WINDSOR~~~
1996
Ode to the Knight of Windsor riding the gallant steed
With sword in hand he awaits the knock
Of the word heís been ordered to heed
For the mission he was chosen
Once upon a time long ago
By the King who reigns the land
The river boat someday will come
And you shall have the princesses hand
Her eyes they burn of fire
Your sword can capture that flame
When this done you shall be
one
Never to be the same
~~DREAM-PAST LIFE~
1996
Say hello to an old friend, but I canít seem to recall your name
Been in this boat so many times before
And the feelings have kept just the same
Said good-bye once upon a time
But a word void of feeling is bare
And just, as the sun surely rises
I hid my love behind a lonely eyed stare
Has it been so very long ago
When we embraced on that warm summer day
Or yesterday, when the rain fell
And we kissed in the midst of its spray
If I asked you stay and you couldnít
I know Iíd have no time for sorrow
For in all the centuries together weíve seen
There is always a chance for tomorrow

~~VISION OF HOPE~~
1996
To have a hope become a vision that suddenly becomes clear
The brightest star lighting the night sky
When the dream long ago finds its way back to your heart
Embrace the warmth of its tender soft glow
Has it been so long ago that you dared to fly
On the wings of your guardian angel
With the faith that youíll go to your highest unknown
Leaving a light for others to see by.

~~TEN OíCLOCK WIND~~
1996
In dreaming Iíve awakened and spoken this truth
But to whom I am left unawares
In my own house Iíve noticed a table disappeared
With a window left gaping in the ten oíclock wind
So I travel a distance with uncertain call
Making left turns and right turns to where Iím not sure
But a woman in passing on a red brick road
Led me back to where I shall follow
Or lead, shall I cleave to the break of tomorrow
Or rest in the arms of the pain of sorrow?

~~~IT WAS YOU~~
1996
It was you who awoke me
It was I said you
We are I , we are You
From the North blows the wind in the broken up breath
I was there with you
You were here with me
To the West lies the sun Glowing orange in our faces
With the face of noon
We will all go home soon

~~~THE FOREST OF FIRE~~
1996
I went on a journey through the forest of rain
Knowing Iíve walked desolate in time past
The gust of wind bellows through the singular tree
A faint mark on the oak has a clue for me
I donít recall ever seeing this rose of black
But the sight of the thorns play a melody
The red river is flowing to the rhythm of time
With my beating heart as the keeper
The bird lands adrift in the palm of my hand
Where heís free to bid me bon jour
Welcome dear friend, I chime in song
I wish I could ride on your wing
But do need your help in a matter at hand
Involving a gold ring of antiquity
I can tie it secure with this string from the spider
Could you deliver it to the old man in the knoll
And with that, my courier bid his adieu
Onward with a smile to a maple I came
I saw my name joined with the heart of another
Although I donít recall leaving my heart here
I asked the tree if he was the guardian
Twas a long time in passing was what he replied
As the wind interpreted his words
The river changed notice from red to sheer
As he pointed to the adjoining valley
ďhe went that wayĒ said the tree ďfor he though you took leave
though he still searches for the drifting essence
he is lost down there, but you musnít dare
to follow perchance youíll succumbĒ
Is there chance for escape for my lover?
Or has he beckoned to fates certain call?
ďThe chance is slim, said the tree, my friend
For he is nearly one step from the fall
If you cross to the nearby forest
And sing the song of Immortal amour
Perhaps he will hear and see the shimmer in the t
ears
Which will reunite you in the forest of fireĒ
~~BASEBALL~~
1996
Fashionably late, as he always was
He walked in with a bold sort of grace
She turned her head with a hidden smirk
Afraid she would laugh in his face
She stomped her foot when he beckoned her
And slipped him a mean wily glare
He laughed aloud and headed for the crowd
Undazed by the dagger in her stare
One strike, she though, with a murmur
Trying to compose a new strategic move
She found across the room a suave looking dude
Jealousy was the weapon to choose
Gathering her most charming composure
She asked the debonair man to dance
With a quick shoulder peek, she expected to see
Her faint hearted man glaring back
What she saw left her standing in the cold
In awe, for it just couldnít be
He was dancing in tune, with a beauty across the room
And delivered her a quick little wink
Trying to contain her storm of fury
As she thanked the chap for the score
She gathered her coat and the things she brought
And headed straight for the door
But her self stopped her at the half way mark
And said, only two strikes my dear
You have another chance, to gain his advance
Just try to be carefully clear
So she approached him a pose unwinding
Gently touched her hand to his arms
ďI am sorryĒ she endeared, ďbut I am so glad youíre hereĒ
And he looked with a newfound alarm
ďNoĒ, he said ďthis was of my making,
My lateness has caused our distress
If you will take my hand, I will speak to the band
To our song weíll danceĒ he said with loving caress
Homerun, she though with a smile
And to think that my chance seemed rare
She started to run but the inning was done
For he had caught the ball in midair

~~THE OTHER HALF~~
1996
My heart felt the deepened passion for those in their wondering dance
Since the call of the tribe has left them, theyíve yet to find the one
Only half of them left the circle, leaving half behind
They cannot look at what they cannot see
So they run in reverse all at once
I can only comfort their sorrow, at what could never be
For I am not what they are looking for
From the darkened depths of the sea
If they would seach behind the curtiain
She would appear like a bride in a dream
If they would only take her hand again
Their soul together will gleam

~~~~THE OTHER~~
1996
One quick look and I knew I was no longer construed to be limited only to one
Pursued, yes pursued, as if endlessly caught in the paradox of stay or to run
Facing death, so they say, yes the reaper in black, with his fortune of gaining the stance
Why I tempted my fate with this game that I play, isnít curious what killed the cat?
Retreating from the battlefield, I slip through the door, not as before but as properly done The boxes are lined in the hall, though quite empty, I turn face to the past battles Iíve won
In the house, the distinction has opened my eyes if to see that itís all been a dream
With no worry for the other, for she sleeps in complete shelter and freedom has found a new ring
Flying, what a chore, when you donít know the score, can be dreadfully hard to obtain
But to gain the composure with the help from a stranger, a menial task to sustain
A newfound aquaintance has found a way in
In the guise of a wandering red cardinal
A small chat with gray cat who seemed delightfully pleased with no intent of a kill to follow
Sir Tish on the other hand wasnít appeased
To welcome this newfound intrusion
For you see he thinks better to annihilate them all
Than to risk a chance of illusion
So a few words of coaxing and he mumbled agreement to be on his best behavior
Off they all went to welcome the fledgling and left me standing in the corridor
Glancing in the attic, the girl worked in focused attention on her new creation
Which led me return to the youngster face forward whose chore was the means to her end
If I had spoken the word, she wouldíve leaped in a blur for I knew she had heart to follow
But the man disagreed, for fear was his creed, and he ordered them clear of the hollow.


~~HALLOWED~
1996
It wonít be long before I call to you, It wonít be long
The time you knew has left and has been oh so long gone
Hallowed be thy name
I feel your pain
Hallowed be thy name, itís still the same
I am your pain
The trouble started long ago
With hypnotic staring eyes
Donít you feel they lie behind their hidden disguise
Hallowed be thy name I feel your pain
Hallowed be thy name, itís still the same , I am your pain
If only you had chanced to look away that day
Youíd be free to wash away into the cleansing rain

~~THE GHOSTLY MAIDEN~~
1996
He had forgotten the plan, when he returned to the land
That was mysteriously put under a trance
This was what we agreed, she wanted to plead
But he was already caught in the dance
Could it really be you, but she already knew
For she had seen her heart in his eyes
He had become a slave, to the big charade
As he tried to hide truth behind lies

To the chamber, my ghostly maiden
Where you shall listen for the tide of the seas
Whe you hear the call of the bird in song
You will know together we are finally free

A beacon appeared and the man endeared
You seem to be earlier than planned
If a motion is stopped before it is clocked
Then weíll have to repeat it again
It just couldnít be, for she could plainly see
That surely he was clearly the one
He had seen in her mind for the man wasnít blind
To the fact that her mind was his own

To the chamber my ghostly maiden
Where you shall listen for the tide of the seas
When you hear the call of the bird in song
You will know together we are finally free

Patience my dear, he whispered in her ear
For the future only waits to be seen
In the silence of the night, by the pale moonlight
I will visit you amidst your dreams
You must not speak or havoc will wreak
Perchance tomorrow may never come
For if the tale is heard, they will kill the bird
And the tide will quickly over run

To the chamber, my ghostly maiden
Where you shall listen for the tide of the seas
When you hear the call of the bird in song
You will know together we are finally free

The days it seemed an eternity
As she listened to the stillness of the night
Whispering his name, but a thought just the same
He appeared in anger, jolting her afright
You musnít interfere, I believe I made that clear
And you rudely resisted my request
If your patience fails once more, Iíll be doomed to the shore
And forever you alone will rest

To the chamber my ghostly maiden
Where you shall listen to the tide of the seas
Whe you hear the call of the bird in song
Youíll know together we are finally free

So without a thought, to hold her distraught
She awaits with an ear to the wind
Her heart is bleeding, from the passionate needing
Of the most gentle kisses from him
She sits without fear, for she knows he is near
But the future the clock will not tell
Has the water been stilled? The bird killed?
Will she die alone in this chamber of hell?

In the chamber awaits the ghostly maiden
She hears the tide of the seas
She hears the call of the bird in song
And together theyíve both been freed

~~~TIME~~
1996
A day to look in the hourglass
Or save an hour or was it two?
Reflecting back upon me
An image that looked like you
As the sand tricked my mind into thinking
Time ever slips away
If I caught every grain before the next moment
Iíd have had a treasure of moments today

~~AWAY~~
1996
It wasnít longer than yesterday
He came and stole my soul away
If I could sway his thoughts my way
Heíd know my ever binding wish

What can this be?
My once beautiful melody
Has hammered into a crashing roar
I canít think straight anymore
Why do they go away?
My hearts in pain and ragin war?
Why do they always go away?

It must have been the look he saw
Afraid it might catch him too
Better to run away, than to be forced to play

What can this be?
My once beautiful melody
Has hammered into a crashing roar
I canít think straight anymore
Why do they go away?
My hearts in pain and raging war
Why do they always go away?

I know He will be back fore more
He knows he stole my soul away
Not much longer than yesterday
He plans to finish the score

~~ETERNAL PLAYGROUND~~
1996
Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy
Ashes, ashes, hear how the thunder crashes
Round and round I seem to be bound with a rope so tight I canít breath
He hears me walk, he hears me talk, though Iíve tried he just wonít leave
How can it be? That heís following me
For he appears to be only a man
But wherever I go
I know he knows

For he is always wherever Iíve ran
~~TRAGIC INTERTWINING~
1996
He hears her calling to the wild wind
Gentle blowing through the rustling leaves
He wanders in search of this temptress of fate
Though he trusts no one, like he trusted her
She was the only one who could possess him
Even the darkness bowed on itís knee
The rumbling fierceness vanished with no trace
When she called to him
Comforted him
Like a babe held with love in his mothers arms
His sorrow could not contain in her warm placid waters
Sustained the moment he died, so that she could be free
He would never forget
The pain when she left
Though it was he who dipped the arrow in crimson
Measuring every breath of her life that he seized
He would never forget how her tears looked like rain
On a warm summer day

She looked beautiful that way
~~PENNY OF GOLD~~
1996
I walked to the well, the wishing mans well
They say you should always watch what you wish for
For if you wish on a star thatís about to fall
That fallen star will become you
I dug for a penny in my pocket bare
But with nothing, I could subscribe
Alas, on the ground, by where the wishing well stood
A bright coin was left for me to find
Perhaps by luck I was chosen
Or fate, finding me on my way
Or in clever disguise, a satanic surprise
A temptation to throw me astray
I shuddered fo a fluttering moment
As the penny became gold in my hand
With a vision in mind, the contract now signed
As my token sunk it was that I knew
Penniless, I pondered for a moment
My life would now never be the same
I looked to the sky and the stars did comply
For there were no falling stars today

~~HIM AGAIN~
1996
With a quick wink he tipped his hat
And who fair beauty might you be?
She curtsied in politeness waver
One whom you have come to savor
You knew me once in times of laden
A saddened, scorned, distressful maiden
Was then you took me fancy flurry
My heart and soul you sent a stirring
Racing forth, my vision blurring
My eyes then cleared and you were gone
Laughter creased his dancing eyes
I shall shoot this man in my disguise
For ours is time of sweet entourgement
Iím sorry for your sad divergence
Will you join me now in gesture
Together now, we will sequester
So be it now, but what much longer
As yesterday, today youíll ponder
She sighed for that youíve been dishonored
Tomorrow yet my breath does breathe!
Believe me not, if not before
I love you now if only more
With sudden swiftness he embraced her
Captured now she was in danger
Her heart and soul was sent a stirring
Suddenly her vision blurring
He held her close as close could be
For to let go, the end heíd see
Their love was one of sanctity
And for that heíd look no more

~~FRIEND LOST~~
1997
If I could call you on the phone I know that you would be there
To give me one more reason to act as if I care
That Iíll wake again tomorrow, if only one more day
For only in the waking, the dreams I have will stay
If I could have just one more chance to live the worlds again
Iíd prove Iíve mastered lesson one, Youíd see, my only friend

~~MY DEMON~
1997
Fear not the one who walks undaunted
Behind that ever taunting, jaunting, subtle yet so haunting face
I welcome him with warm embrace
Today or never, Lost endeavor
Today I say or never ever
One more day and Iíll be faded
Completely jaded, quite sedated
He teases me with bereated laughter
Scorned to stay forever after
Today or never, lost endeavor
Today I say, or never ever
I offered bribed, he wonít be bought
This visitor with mercy not, Iím held distraught
His very arms Iíve sauntered searching
Like an abandoned orphaned urchan
Today or never, lost endeavor
Today I plead, or never ever

Left behind, Iím scantly faring
Weeping, barren, every staring
Caught in the midst of glaring eyes
Weakened by his cheap disguise
Today or never,lost endeavor
Today I pray or never ever
Adorned in black with eyes of red
They are all dead on rosebush bed
His laughter in my head is churning
My house aflame is burning..burningÖ
Today or never, lost endeavor
Today Iím freed, forever and ever

~~THE EYES OF PERCEPTION~~
1997
ďWho are you really? ď I asked the man
ďFor you cannot be the man that I seeĒ
ďYou have asked for the truth of discernmentĒ he said
ďAnd behold I have come from a dreamĒ
ďFrom a dream, how absurd!Ē but those very words
Were clear in the eyes of perception
It was true, I then knew that this image was sent
To this world of lies and deception
ďCanít you see all along itís really been me?Ē
he said with bright chuckling eyes
A master of illusion, I drew by conclusion
But the reality or not, I realized
Hello to judgement, I greet with new shoes
To wear in the home of my clan
With the words of a demon, still know Iím dreaming
As the dauntless dares the coward to dance
Whether I passed or failed, I canít seem to entail
Though strangers wave hello on this road
The mist was quite thick and I had to look quick
As the wheel spins through its predestined mode..

He heard her before he was born
Whispering for him to come home
Learn your lessons and learn them straight
So when its time we wonít be late
When she found him fast asleep
He couldnít hear her loving voice
He couldnít remember the time before
Though the memories lie deep below

You left on the eight oíclock train tonight
Without bothering to say good-bye
One kiss could have kept me an eternity
Why didnít you even try?

~~THE WOLF~
1997
A lonely soul though not quite alone
A bride to be of the wolf
Our engagement was quite a scare to me
An answer of yes he took
Amongst other things
Perhaps I did not know
Or perhaps in fact I did
I could hear him breathing beside my bed
Unaware how his fury shook
My soul, it screams, for leave I beg
What has come over me?
The wolf he rapes me in my sleep
To which I fear no end
He follows, this wild beast and I secure no claim
One quiet night, I fell afright
As he whispered out my name
A ring I wear that bears his face
With troubled heart I weep
For this promise that I canít recall
That Iíve been forced to keep

~~~MASKS~
1997
Masks with faces surrounding me
A hundred faces with no names
Or names I know but canít remember
From yesterday or days of ago
The man in taunting taught me wisdom
A friendly not so friendly gesture
Knowledge cam in form of forest
Deep and dark though lantern shines
Buried quite beneath the surface
The dark haired girl hides in the well
Catching coins to turn to wishes
Her very fortune beholds her not
A lie to you, a lie to me
A destiny we cease to see
Why haunting bridges burn so well
When voices mute and cannot tell
The dark road leads unto the pasture
The horses wink and nod their heads
For neigh they know the wind has spoken
And as before will speak again

~~MIDNIGHT BAY~~
1997
Steadfast cross at Midnight Bay
They crossed the border by ferry
This cross of slaughter found its way
A weight much too heavy to carry
The bloody road stained crimson red
The song has not been stilled
Echoes wail throughout the night
All of my family killed
My heart is bleeding, my soul receding
In this war that will never end
The road I walk of this murderous cross
Is the only home I have left, my friend

~~OLD FRIEND~~
1997
The very first time I heard your voice
All alone on the phone in March
Iíd felt that Iíve heard this song before
But where did this melody start?
When we met, I was certain
Absolutely convinced!
That Iíd seen this face before
As your eyes seemed to dance with such sweet recognition
I knew then we had much more in store
When we talked like old friends on that cold afternoon
Laughing and sharing old jokes
I then knew who you were
And sang the song too
In my dream you were that man I adored

~~JUST BELIEVE~~
1997
I did not leave you then, death simply got the best of me
I told you before the darkness came Iíd see you again
Just believe!
Iím sorry I caused you sadness, as I watched you suffer in pain
I lingered around as long as I could
But I couldnít hold you the same
The others said there was another way
If I dared to take such a chance
That youíd recognize the spirit of my eyes
And ask me just once to dance
So here I am with new clothes again
But I fear youíve begun o forget
That I promised Iíd be back again
Just believe!
And leave behind the pain of regret

~~THE RAT~~
1997
A rat with beady eyes is staring in my window
Friend or foe, I donít reckon
I think he has hunger on his mind
Maybe heís hungry for me
Heís growing much larger by the moment
Maybe heíll just decide to leave
I sneak over and twist the blind shut
But I know with a certainty heís still there
I hear him scratching at the crevice
Did I shut it tight? I start to wonder
Or should I just escape through the door?
I peek oh so slightly to see if heís gone
Being as quiet as I could
What I saw nearly turned my hair gray
For there were beady red eyes glaring back

~~FOOL~
1997
I know sheís holding you right now
And youíre holding her too
But there is nothing I can do
Nothing I can do
I knew right from the start
What the score was
The odds were high
Why did I try?
But I walked in like a fool
They say fools fall in love, and itís true
So true
If I could only have you, just hold you
Iíll just sit here all alone
With my best friend, the phone
And wait for your voice
What a choice!
My only choice!
Iím a fool

~~TEMPTATION~
1997
Does he laugh when Iím not looking
And roll up his sleeves?
Enjoying the moments when he brings me to my knees
Have mercy on my soul Master
For I know that you can hear
Iím just a woman filled with heartbreak and tears
I wish that I could trust him
And sometimes I do
But when Iím pleasing him, am I pleasing you?
Is he just another test that I canít seem to pass?
Or have we finally realized a true gift at last?
Is he a lesson? That I have yet to learn
Or does he only wish to see my heart and soul burn
Does he wait for the moment when he hears me cry in pain
Or treasure the thoughts when he can hold me again?
What should I do Master?
I beg an answer from you?
Show me the way, show me the way through

~~BLUE GARTER~~
1997
Tried and true, I borrowed blue
Long ago on the mystical mountain
I sang my song, and then was gone
Immersed in the eternal fountain
My heart denied the pain it cried
As it searched all alone in the night
Daylight came, and the sun spoke my name
The vision once dark turned to light


~~TOMORROWS MAN~~
1997
Yesterdays man is but dust in the wind
A memory locked in a picture frame
His haunting ghost lies in my mind
My heart still mourns his passing
The man of today is but yesterdays dream
A thought I conceived one lonely night
A vision sent form the call of a wonder
While looking past the picture in the frame
Tomorrows man awaits to be seen
For the scenery has yet to be drawn
One thought inhabits reality true
Yet to awaken in my world

~~TEMPTATION TWO~~
She couldnít believe what she saw the day
That she saw the light in his eyes
He captured her heart right from the start
And itís for him that her spirit cries
She tried to run and hide more than once
For she feared this feeling he beckoned
Yesterdays news left her tormented and blue
And from this, her sorrow was reckoned
The tears they fall for him today
For she knows tomorrow heíll say good-bye
Anguish and strife have become her life Why play roulette with emotional suicide
So many times she tried to quit this game
With a knowing it could be her last breath
But he loaded the gun,and she knows he has won
As she welcomes her most certain death

~~JUST GO AWAY~~
So, you wanna know what goes on in my head?
Sometimes I think Iíd be better off dead
But when I look at you I donít know what to do
Because you look like trouble and an angel too
Where do we go from here
If I could just get past this fear
If I told you I loved you would you stay?
It seems things never go my way
Arenít we done yet? You say you want to know more
If I asked you those questions youíd head straight for the door
You trouble me, show me things I donít want to see
The longer I stay makes me want to see more
Who am I now? And where did I go?
Isnít that what you wanted to know?
If I told you I love you would you stay?
And tell me everything is going to be ok?

~~MY PROTECTORS~~
Bear, have you lost your fierceness
Finally to deaths road?
The darkened valley has lit up well
Protect me from him
Bear, where have you gone?
Wolf, the protector of the wayside
Have you went to stalk your prey?
And left me to fend for myself once again?
Wolf, where have you gone
Raven, my watcher of the night
I fail to see you hovering
With piercing eyes waiting to attack him with deadly precision
Oh Raven, let me hear your call!
Mourning dove, with haunting cry
Greeting me in passing
Through the curtain we shall see
That tomorrow is no more

~~WHISPERS~~
Whisper to me, how I hear you
Will you whisper to me once again?
I donít understand how I got here
Will your whispers to me never end
So forbidden, I lie in disdain
Everything I hear, whispers your name
You haunt me, oh how I see you
Will you stay with me till morning light
Dance with me where the laws havenít found
Their way in my dreams at night
So mesmerizing, Iím falling apart
Everything I see burns your face in my heart

~~WHISPERS~~
(redone)
Whisper to me how I hear you
Will yo whisper to me once again?
Oh how you possess me when you utter my name
Will your whispers to me never end
So forbidden, I lie in disdain
Everything I hear whispers your name
You haunt me, oh how I see you
Will you stay with me till morning light
Dance with me where the laws havenít found
Their way in my dreams at night
So mesmerized, Iím falling apart
Everything I see burns your face in my heart

~~ALONE~~
Alone is simply just a state of mind
Where you have more time to meet your self
Hidden beneath the border they await
For you to hear their cries to seek your fate
If you find these allies hidden behind the walls
Destiny awakens for your beck and call
Things shall not be heard, but may be seen instead
The shadow overcomes and leaves you left for dead
If you try to hide, it will proceed to hunt you down
Your pain becomes his pleasure when there is no one around
The choice to succeed is left to you alone
For it is up to you to find your own way home

~~DEAR PHILOSOPHER~~
Just thought Iíd share a question on lifes workings of late
A woman- I believe- or a Chameleon in womans clothing
Went to the judge on charges of theft
She must have gained composure and deceived the man
Who harbored her fate
For when she walked out
She wore the most visible Crooked Smile
The tangled web form this black widow
Must have captured us all
For we all lie motionless and in awe.

~~LAHOYA~
What I saw left me in awe
For I had come apart
I saw the woman standing by
It happened in a dream
I know sheís lost inside
Sometimes we do collide
I tell her that she is now free
She says she wonít confide
She runs so far away
She says I cannot stay with her
She runs so far away
She murmured just few words
This what I heard
Go away, Iíll be okay
And Iíll come home someday
So back I go to let them know
That sheíll come home someday
I know she wonít believe me
She runs so far away
She says I cannot go with her
She runs so far away

~~YOUíD SEE ME~~
Alive the ember is in flames
I hear your name
Dancing sparks around your face
Has your soul ignited as well
Can you feel
Does it heal
Or have you admitted yourself to hell
Do the visions make you tremble
When they appear within your dreams
Or have you stopped to wonder
If it isnít what it seems
The writing on the wall isnít as it appears
If you looked through the broken window onemore time
Youíd see me
Youíd see me

br> ~~CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT~~
A lake Iíve cried damnation
Their conviction of my soul
A frozen chill surges through
The destiny I hold
The strangers wave to me and say
Tomorrow brings the light
Tomorrow never seems to come
To children of the night
A vision seen, not once, but twice
Alone in choice but not in vice
Purged of empty hollow noise
The song I hear remains in poise Darkened one they laugh and spit their judgements in my face
The masquerade has me in tears
As I fall from hypocrisyís grace
To their agreement nodding heads
Convergence of my ways
A meeting they have called to save my soul from judgement day
The fear I see within their eyes
Ignites into a flame
The trickster eagerly accepts the amusement of their game
A note off key is quickly heard
The song rewrote the pages burned
But ashes lying on the ground
Relive the song in circles round

~~GYPSY TEARS~~
The man I passed awaited passing
The song I hear yet to be played
The words you speak I have heard spoken
The scene I see, I saw yesterday
I watched you walk in complete circle
Having yet to walk my way
The curtain fell to my confusion
And what I see leads me astray
People shake their heads in wonder
An oddity they do confide
But when I watched you walking forward
My reality and my dreams collide
How do I know where reality lies
And where Itís not, I must confess
At first the mystery quite intrigued me
But now the tears fall in distress
A gift or curse on this I ponder
When smiling to people who arenít yet there
When ghostly images seek to haunt me
Iím lost in tomorrows waiting lair
So if I shake with fear beside you
Hold my hand and understand
For my hourglass seems to have broken
And Iím left to sift the illusion of sand

~~ALPHA AND THE OMEGA~~
Things arenít as they appear
Vanishing reflections always come back to haunt
As if wanting has made them seem obscurable.
Too many people donít realize this and become lost in their own mist of confusion
Reaping power is not a very obtainable source
And often you have to take it to succeed
When the visions stop youíve lost the gamble
To know you must begin but never stop
For there is no stopping
Ever
Run to the nearest corner for in running there
You can only but notice that there is another for you to run to
If you had only known before you ran
That you had started this vicious circle upon your choosing
You might have stayed and never sought the knowledge
But in choosing to seek you can climb higher
And watch what you created unfold..point
Today I saw you
Finally I am free
Will I be able to knock down
The wall that surrounds me?

Remember these for they are last words
Be very still and you will hear the birds
They seem to be calling, lend them your ear
A new wind is coming and is drawing near
Can you hear them, do not delay
Ride with this wind or your destined to stay
For the trees have fallen, your home on the ground
The rain falls quickly, the rabbit has drowned
The trail has run over the water is clear
No hope left for anyone full of fear

~~~SLEEPTALKING~~
please watch over me while I sleep
And kiss me while Iím awake
Bottle up my very last breath
So Iíll have one left to take
Please be sure that the wind doesnít hear
The words that I speak at night
For the wind has a way of catching your words
And setting new motions in flight

~~WISHES~~
In a wish long ago with a breath for tomorrow
I glanced to the heavens for a sign

It seems what I left was only mine to borrow
As the bitterness became a vintage wine
When the signal came through
Quite clear I must say
I was threw through a loop
In a mad hatter rush
My cheeks became flush
With the rosiest blush
I knew my wish had been beckoned my way
Will you say? Will you stay?
Was all I could mutter
As you looked deep into my eyes
You said but of course
Without even a stutter
So enchanted I was mesmerized
Did I dare to believe
What I heard and I seen

When you opened the door and walked in I began to sway as I drowned in your gaze
Such a misty soft haze
Setting my cold heart ablaze
My wish returned in a beautiful way
I found the door to eternity
When I looked into your eyes
The wave overtook me
My heart and soul capsized
Suddenly I was drowning, drowning in the stream
That was slowly delivered
As a trickle from the spring
My heart was beating steady to a familiar melody
I breathed the crystal waters
They surged a clearness in my lungs
The fear of drowning vanished
With the rush of this new drug
My mind wanders..
It wanders through tomorrow
The addiction, sweet addiction
It seems has just begun
But today, I lie in ecstasy
Submerged in the warmth of the sun

~~FLEETING~~
It was a cold dark night
The tree it hovered like a beast
With thought I reached inside myself and gathered up a scream
I heard the howling of the wind
It called to me to stop and p lay at once
Before the darkness scattered me away

Address Unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Soldier, how are you
It's been so long since you left
I've missed your smiling eyes
and your letters I have kept
I've tried to be happy
Though it seems you're always here
In my thoughts, in my dreams
In my newly fallen tears
I have tried to dismiss you
As my heart fights my mind
As I circle through this motion
I have lost on every side
So, dear soldier,please come home
Though I know you'll never hear
You've been listed missing in action
For many many years
I just wanted you to know
That I still play our song
And I can still feel us dancing
As if you were never gone....




CRACKED

A single sunlight beam creeps in the window pane
Radiating warmth upon the floor
Another glances in, contemplating entrance
As the shadows knock lightly on the door
The door is cracked to see if they come in harmony
Or if only seeking reason for a gain
Friendly so they seem, shifting shapes playfully
With not a thought of tomorrow entertained
Dancing on the walls, and in the cracks where spiders crawl
They make their home in darkness where the light is straining...
Awaiting...
Timid minds at work, where they pull and they jerk
Until the form of ghastly creatures find a shape
Laughing while they play, the intellect frightened away
As the monsters make them glance over their shoulders
Scared of a shadow, their snickers roll into a bellow
Their newfound friend has quickly turned into their prey
Sneaking...
Sneaking..creeping... They will always be behind you...
Turn around



Alone
There is no comfort in being alone.
The wind sweeps desolate around the heart.
A gust of sadness brushes my face.
Preceding a torrent of blue that chills me tight.
A rush, so addictive it feeds the night,
Of the cold damp dreariness of this place

These prison walls are much too high.
A mind that is barred cannot escape,
Or sleep within this house of pain.
The dreary wind enters my bones
It shouts a whisper YOU'RE ALL ALONE!"
Water rushing down an empty drain.

Whispered (taunting): "I might say that I am insane but I won't because you know my name



The walls close in on a room so small,
Breathing gets harder in the face of the storm..
A blast of silence speaks of the devil to come,
As it rips and howls and tears and shreds!!
You might think that I approach this with dread..
As the chill gets colder on this abandoned run.

Whispered: "Adrenalin Junkie! Adrenalin Junkie!"
The old lady cackles in the back of the room , stirring coffee in her rocker with a mind bent spoon



It's too late for me now......
Can you please come soon?



DESTINATION NOWHERE ~~~~~~~~~~~

I laid in his arms
On that cold lonely night
But I knew that it soon would end
We laughed and we lied
On that night I died
For my spirit with his did blend
With a final sigh
And a few tearful cries
I headed my way out the door
"If for chance", he did say"
That you think you're escaping
My dear you'll be back for more"
Walking, waiting
Dying, fading
Say, say, no more, no more
Laughing , crying
Awakening, trying
One more key in the door
As I lie awake
My soul he did take
Like a demon thief in the night
Left forsaken
Or sadly mistaken
Though I feel every step of his sight
In the distance I see what a foreboding dream
Had beckoned me on my way
"MERCY!" I screamed
"But it's not what it seems!" he said
"Please, please, won't you stay?
Stay, stay
Don't go away
But even if you choose to run
Kicking, fighting
There's no sense hiding
For it seems you're the only one.."


Nine Tenths of the Law
I died many years ago
Dont you remember?
My funeral
You spit on my grave and dance the jig
of the seventh sign
Ahh....
You are remembering now..
For you see..
Revenge has been my only benediction
When you do my time, it will be your conviction
I will haunt you with such a sweet affliction
You shall see the parade no more
My resurrection
What you've awaited for years
Did you think that I drowned in the tears that so gracefully
Fell in contempt on your face?
While you laughed and drank of my blood in thirst
Dont you recall?
I was first to help you savor the taste
Father, forgive me for I know what I do
A treacherous act has turned my blood blue
And the killer will live in your hell as mine
Repeating his acts in the reversal of time
My liberation
Born of your deliberation
I will eat you alive,
I'm incognito.




Remembering my Self ~~~~~~~~~~~
I've smiled with the sun in it's basking embrace
Shining diamonds in the river with it's illusive face
With a half murmurred sigh,
I could feel something calling
As if not quite remembered,
I could feel my Self falling
Downward inside of myself once again
Is this feeling one of grace or the price of my sins
Looking upward to the heavens for a sign

Thinking while the moon sweeps its light through the trees
Pleading with the god of the winds in sorrow on my knees
While praying and pondering
I could still feel it calling
knowing inside myself, that my Self is just crawling
Slowly through the outpour of the downpouring rain
the not quite remembered remembers again
Then forgets in a blink of an eye..


Return to Sender ~~~~~~~~~~~

I've sung the song of sixpence with a pocket full of rye
Ashes, ashes, we've all been told a lie
Though I've fallen off the wall and stifled the kingsmen
Forever cracked with the obsession of the gold my yarn won't spin
Spiders washing down the drain, seeking sunlights warm terrain
Speaks of my existence in the rain

They say I've been enchanted in a twisted wonderland
I look at them and start to laugh
And then I grab their hand
To grandmas house we have to go
She's fallen sick in bed
When the wolf came a calling
I shot him in the head
Now there's water to go get
Tumblin down I got all wet
My reflection smiles in the window pane

Awake I guess I'm dreaming
For their faces are all stone
The sweet nice old lady
She has turned into a crone
The scarecrow cannot find a brain
The pill has made me small
I have to stop and wonder
To find the sense in this at all
I planted all my beans
And the giant still is screaming
((((((still is screaming))))))
My house I built behind the picture frame

I follow the mad hatter
Down the path of the unknown
I'm sitting in a corner
Eating pie all alone
Four and twenty blackbirds
I tried to eat in a rush
Someone came and kissed me
Now my cheeks are all aflush
I must go and tend my garden
I beg you'll beg my pardon
The cheshire has disappeared again..


Song of Wabash ~~~~~~~~~~~

Sing me the Song of Wabash
The valley of broken dreams
Where time is all thats left to do
The walls filled with silent screams
Where the doors are locked, the windows barred
Silently hoping they'd be left ajarred
Though even in silence, there's no escape
Mark off the calendar one more day

Sing me the song of Wabash
Where you try not to lose yourself
To the molded ways of the parts that fit
And securely sit on the shelf
Where you see a reflection in a broken mirror
Wishing intently it will all become clear
When it shattered the glass fell into your hands
Piercing your skin and leaving a brand

Sing me the Song of Wabash
Where you're corrected or better concealed
The people outside can't actually see
The cards that you've really been dealed
A world of it's own, with tightly locked gates
Some live with hope, some live with hate
The future uncertain, the time stands still
The past left behind is so painfully real

Sing me the Song of Wabash
Where you wish it was all just a dream
But the dreams you have when you're really asleep
Feel much more real than they seem
And it's harder to connect with the people you know
Because hey! people come and people they go
But in truth you realize you're really alone
Until you remember that some of us need you..


The Horse of Stoddard ~~~~~~~~~~~

A wayward horse of Stoddard County
Crossed the line to speak to me
A hold you had is baring thin now
Lest you lose eternally
Past due bills you are to pay now
If for less you owe of me
Your darling babe has gone to play now
The silver coin rings tinkle..tinkle..

Travel through your family circle
Not long ago a path you laid
Nowhere has it seemed to lead you
But in destitution and quite afraid
A wisened one once beckoned your ear
Trying to teachyou did not hear
Trouble lies it is for certain
The road is open the way is clear

Ending to the last beginning
Alone again, you have not found
Why guarded secrets always shout
A whisper always screams out loud
Terror lies within the valley
A demon that you can't forsake
For what you guarded once so closely
Is open for the thieves to take




~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE WOLF ~~~~~~~~~~~

A lonely soul
Though not quite alone
A bride to be of the Wolf
Our engagement was quite a scare to me.
An answer of yes He took
Amongst other things
Perhaps I did not know
Or perhaps in fact I did
I could hear him breathing beside my bed
Unaware how his fury shook
My soul it cries for leave I beg
What has come over me?
The Wolf he rapes me in my sleep
To which I fear no end
He follows
This wild beast
And I secure no claim
One quiet night, I fell afright
As he whispered out my name
A ring, I wear that bears his face
With troubled heart I weep
For this promise I cannnot recall
I Have been forced to keep


Tightrope ~~~~~~~~~~~
I've met death many a time in this lifespan
Stopping count after two or three
Visitations with this welcoming stand
Has versed me with the fugitive key
Left quite appeased, it is there I'm most pleased
With a halt in production, a quirk
That so rare is found on the grass of the round
It is here that my components lurk

Seeking interpretation my spirit does sigh
The drunkeness wanes and leaves me bone dry
Just when I think the rapture has ceased
My mind crumbles into a burdened disease

Waxing and waning with the moon
An illusion wells deep in the spring
As the abstract seeks being, each step resounds
Of the existence it entices to bring

With a haunting cat call, it dares me to fall
As it laughs by the shoulder of the bridge
It whistles a tune, succumbing, I'm swooning
Now I'm dangerously close to the ridge

A chant once heard, I learned in the fire
Has brought me sweet pain in a waking desire
the dream caught hold, which I barely recall
the warfare of reckoning stifled this fall

Now I'm glancing at the pages elapsing
Beholding a distinction of discord
In the midst of the tightrope in a much trifled state
I envisioned a hard solid floor

Emotions in check, I had failed recollection
Of the past rebirthing once again
A glance in my house had slowly aroused
The remembrance of where I had been
My enemy appeared , in a mood of endearment
He seemed quite encased, such a will made of sheer bent
intention, a reflection of strength not astray
He had laid down a carpet and met me at bay

Spiralling down to the ground by the river
The birds they sing songs of content
Bethinking myself to what the old man had said
Before the picture became twisted and bent

If you look to the left and employ a sly deftness
You shall see an image of your face
If you look to the right using the keenest of sight
The deception will soon debase

As I grasped for interpretation , the breeze caught it's breath
For this old man speaks only through the winds quickened depths
And i know he is pleased for I feel his embrace
And it seems that we've stopped the clock in it's chase


WALK AWAY FROM ME ~~~~~~~~~~~
This is my last ditch attempt to reach you
This is all killing me inside
I look around and see the chaos in our lives
And my eyes are open very wide

You said "Walk away from me, I'm only going to hurt you
Walk away from me, I will only make you cry
Walk away from me, I am only going to hurt you
Walk away from me and just let me die"

I think of all the years I've watched you drown your pain
Come up to surface and then drown yourself again
I've always kept the hope that someday you will see the light
But the water is over my head, and I'm scared I cannot win this fight

You said "Walk away from me, I'm only going to hurt you
Walk away from me, I told you from the start
Walk away from me, I will only bring you sadness
Walk away from me I will only break your heart"

Some people bury all their troubles in a bottle
Some people choose to stick a needle in their arm
When I saw you I thought Love was what you needed
But all you want to do is die and I was wrong

I wish I could walk away from you, you only know to hurt me
Walk away from you, you only make me cry
walk away from you, you only bring me sorrow
walk away from you, loving you is killing me inside

What's your Pleasure?
A tragic loss in water wading, she washed upon the shore.
The life within her eyes was fading, a breath to breath no more.
Pictures of her life unveiled
Her life unfolded, then she sailed
Through sorrow's tears and happy years
She knocked upon the door..

"What's your pleasure, sweet young miss?"
Death said with gleaming eyes

"One last kiss, immortal please, then I'll pretend to die"

He granted this last wish with ease,
She welcomed in this gentle breeze
Another dance, fates circumstance
She hears her mother cry


not mine: but interesting:


So where's a muthaphuka to begin
In the beginning there's only end
In the start there's the finish
And I eats all me spinach

So what have you to contend?

Current 93
Two and Three are Five
Are you Sirius
Are any of you alive?

Are you Dogons?
Running from the tribe?
Liber el ex vee
el vee ex is light


Sons of the Pharoes
Stick Horus in his eye
Hiram was the king of Tyr
and Solomon am I

Broken like a whiskey bottle
Dripping like a cunt
Electric dreams are hard to swallow
Have I been too blunt?

My rhyming scheme is juvenile
My meter's running out
Pedantic doggerel so infantile
That's why we call it improv

It's early in the morning
The dreams still echoe in my head
We are dogs chasing our tails
We are purple dye from snails

We are stardust
We are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we've got to plagiarize our jargon

To go outside go inside
The macro in the micro
The macaroni in the microwave?
The marconi in the esplanade?

The macrocosm in the microcosm
The osm in chasm
Do you need a spanking now?
Is death one big orgasm?

Suffice it to say
The more I know the more I know I don't know
So who's to know?
And what's to show?
I could ramble on for hours

Secret clubs like Mouseketeers
And the orders of the Temple
But like Shirley now they're Black
What happened to your dimple?

Illumination comes from the
Dimmest light
or a sage named divinorum

A single lamp in a niche
Carved out in a crystal
Who brought the light?
Who feed us with fuitful knowledge?
Alcoholics Anonymous
Argentum Astrum
If you need our Daddy's love
All you have to do is ask him



All poems copyrighted 1999-2001 Tracy Corpe
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